Me, High Heels and My Ankle

It has been long since I post my last story on this blog, a lot of things happened in life and the best part is my better health condition. I am so glad having my health back. I lost weight lately with so much things to be done at work and also my new habit to eat less but frequently following my doctor’s advices. However, I like being slimmer and to be healthy as well. I have moved into a new place, still in central part of Jakarta , with my friend. It is a convenient place in term of access to public transportations though I don’t really like the neighborhood and the people around. It does not matter actually, once I get into our apartment I feel at home and comfortable.

Last week I had a minor accident on my ankle the right one precisely. It happened in the morning on the way to office. As usual I am taking bus-way from my apartment to office. I was in hurry and unconsciously run away on my high heels (yes, believe it or not is at least 10 cm) right in from of my office building. Unaware of rough pavement in front of me, I slipped into the floor without falling down, and injured my own ankle. Surprisingly it was not that hurt initially thus I still managed to continue walking to my office using my high heel, climbing to 9th floor, sitting down on my chair and start working. Two hours later I start feeling pain on my right ankle and trying to find ice-cubes to relief it. I walked strangely that day and used my comfortable slippers at the office whole day. Arrived at home, I put ice-cubes on my right ankle and it indeed useful to reduce the pain. I woke up in the morning anticipating swollen ankle then surprisingly nothing happened, my feet was fine and no longer hurt, yuppie!

I have been reprimanded by my advisor and colleagues at work to put on sneakers or flat shoes. Unfortunately, I really love high heels and can’t resist the temptation of not buying and using them until now. Last week I bought a pair of high heel again…the accident didn’t make me quit wearing them again. Yeah me and high heels, we love each other for so long….

Image : my favorit high heels

A Letter To My Doctor

Dear Doctor,
I am grateful that I am recovered and feeling better now with your medical treatment. I regretted that I did not take your advices seriously before especially after my illness some months ago. You said take a lot of rest, be careful with your food, avoid chilli and stress and back to me next week. I didn’t do all those things assuming that I was fine and moved on. The last time I visited you and also when I was discharged from hospital I asked your advices to accelerate my healing processes. You said I can not eat this I can not eat that I can not do this I can not do that and you don’t know how much I try to follow your advices. You don't know how much I love chilli pepper and tea but still I don’t eat chili and hardly drink tea the last four weeks. I have ignored and resisted the temptation to have them ( though all of my friends at work and home eat spicy and hot food with chilli pepper in front of my very eyes), it is tough but I managed it. I follow other advices : back home earlier from work (you do not know how much work I have to do), have more rest (though I really want to go to cinema at night, sight seeing, wandering and shopping at malls with my friends), eat less but frequently and never let your stomatch empty (I eat banana and biscuit in between my breakfast, lunch and dinner and sometimes when I woke in the middle of the night and felt hungry I standed and grabbed banana then back to sleep) and be very careful with my food and drink ( I cook own my lunch and dinner and drink mineral water only).

You do not know how my world and life has changed the last four weeks. I remembered the last time I visited you (two days ago) to get vaccinated, you still teased me and suspected if I am not following your advices, I said I did and swear I did. I will do whatever it takes to be well, I will follow what you said and take it seriously now. Doct, I really want to get my health back and become tired of back and forth to your room there at a hospital in Kebun Jeruk. I know you are a very good doctor and you have so many patients are waiting for you, I have to wait for hours just to visit you many times. We have an appointment to meet a week after this week to get another vaccination. I will ask the nurse to do it again, you are very good doctor and I wonder why a good doctor is not good in doing an injection and you are not the only one. My previous internist was also very good doctor but I didn't like the way he did injection on me it was painful. But it does not matter, I will see you again in a couple of weeks anyway. I am glad to be well and I want to keep it that way. Thank you.

Your patient,
Me

Wereld Zonder Jou (World Without You)

This is not about a Dutch Song I like a lot or about my loneliness of missing someone, not at all. This is about my madness of missing a very important thing in my life on the same time one that I had too much in my life causing me illness and pain, IT IS ABOUT CHILI PEPPER, yes these red and hot plants but indeed had have very bight impact in my life. I have been sick the last three months and was just discharged from hospital (for second time) last weekend for similar disease I have had before (please read previous post). During those periods, I have been prohibited to some extend by my doctor and also restricted my self to consume it on my food. I just realize how crazy I was before eating chili pepper so much on my food and addiction to the sensation it had on my tongue and mouth. I know I have reached my limit and now my stomach is no longer able to tolerate my bad habit of putting so much chili on my daily food.

Right after my recuperation period last month I have tried to eat chili pepper then I again I felt discomfort and pain on my abdomen. I have learnt (I hope I don’t lose my ability on learning especially to be recovered and to look after my self carefully) that I might no be able to have chili as much as I had before. Until today, I still feel discomfort on my abdomen every time I eat and have no courage to try chili, not anymore. However, I have felt my life is so different and empty (of course I dramatized it) without chili. Yeah, I know now how much I love this forbidden pleasure. I know I was diagnosed by typhoid fever several times and suffered so much from it. I know those damn bacteria called salmonella typhi have attacked my intestines and I admitted recently that my bad eating habit (eating out when I lived in Aceh and addiction to chili has contributed to this illness). I really want to be out of this disease yet the temptation to have spicy food is so strong the last three weeks. During this sick leave period, I start thinking and considering somehow, I need to change my eating habit especially with chili and control my worries about things and stress at manageable level. I just realize, things will not be the same for me after this illness, however, I do still hope one day I can have and live with chili pepper again, hell, am missing it a lot now......

(Writing from my bed in the hope of recuperating and be able to have chili pepper again)

Image taken from : http://www.producepedia.com/chilipepper.php

Umbrella and the way to “hell”

You had my heart we'll never be worlds apart
They be in magazines you'll still be my star
Baby cause in the dark you can't see shiny cars
That's when you need me there
With you I'll always Share
Because

When the sun shine we shine together
Told you I'll be here forever said I'll always be your friend
So come on out and stick it till the end
Now that it's raining more then ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella
Under my umbrella
Under my umbrella

Caused everything will never come in between
Your apart of my entity here for infinity
When the war has dealt it's part
When the world has dealt it's card
If the hand is hard together we'll measure up
Because

When the sun Shine we shine together
Told you I'll be here forever said I'll always be your friend
So come on out and stick it till the end
Now that it's raining more then ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella
Under my umbrella
Under my umbrella

You can run into my arms it's okay don't be alarmed
Come into me there's no distance in between our love
Go on and let the Rain pour I'll be out here needing more
Because

When the sun Shine we shine together
Told you I'll be here forever said I'll always be your friend
So come on out and stick it till the end
Now that it's raining more then ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella
Under my umbrella
Under my umbrella

It's raining , Oh baby it's raining
Baby Come Into me, come into me it's raining
Oh baby it's raining you can always come into me

The title above is intended to represent the current weather condition in Jakarta in addition to my addiction to the song by Rihanna. It is frequently raining in Jakarta and umbrella is one important thing to bring along the way to work especially for people like me who prefer to live on walking distance from office area for practical reason. I like living in a big city such as Jakarta but I don’t like its dense traffic jam at all especially at busy hours. For this reason, I found a nice temporary place to live in nearby my office until I find a spacious and comfortable apartment suit me. The second part of this title will be described later on.

The last two months neither easy nor too tough for me, I never imagine that I was so familiar with living in Banda Aceh and it took sometimes for me to adjust with big city living again. I am fortunate enough to have very understanding colleagues and sympathetic supervisor at work then I smoothly mixed and blended with my new but old office/organization and its people. I am still handling similar work with additional tasks and responsibilities, I would say it’s a bit too much but that’s interim arrangement until we found the person in charge to supervise the ground works in Aceh.

At the moment perhaps until the end of the year I will be traveling to Banda Aceh on monthly basis. The last two months, I have been there twice; first mission was short and second mission (last week) was tragedy (well, I might dramatize it but it is true). I never think that my whole week mission totally failed for one reason : I was hospitalized 5 days for suffering typhoid fever right away after I landed in Banda Aceh, terrible disease in wrong time and place I would say.

It was started on Sunday 23 November 2008, yes exactly three days after my birthday! I planned to have one week mission in Aceh to complete some works and attend several meeting scheduled a week before. My initial phone conversation with our technical advisor has represented this unfortunate mission. There are three times flight from Jakarta to Banda Aceh and vice-versa in one day by Garuda (the recommended airline service my organization trust to fly with). In almost all mission to Banda Aceh people at my office avoid (at least that the sense I have about) to fly with first flight which initially scheduled on 06.15 am then now moved into 05.30 am, yes 05.30 morning time! Can you imagine that? Meaning that I need to be at the airport at least 04.50 am to enable me to make the flight and depart from home with taxi at 04.00 am in the morning. So, to avoid this trouble I tried to get second flight scheduled at 09.35 am some days prior to my departure but failed.

So here I was last weekend, with first flight ticket at hand on Monday 24 November 2008 tried to pack off my bag and discussed my plan with my technical advisor (who already headed into Banda Aceh) of our meeting there. I told him my schedule including my flight and let him know that I was still trying to go with second flight but had no avail. I still remember how he laughed on the other side of the line and made a joke about flying first flight to Banda Aceh is similar with preparatory to hell (he analogized it with a ritual in catholic before people come into hell) if I can recalled what he said correctly. I was laughing out loud to hear his story (we’ll he is good and funny story-teller anyway) and silently if not obviously agreed with him but for only half part of his story. I understand that flying first flight to Banda Aceh might not be wise choice but I know after arriving in Banda Aceh it will be paid off to see my team and project as well as to meet old friends there.

The initial torturing series began in Sunday 23 November 2008 mid-night with painful sensation on my abdomen following with frequent diarrhea and light headache. Clueless and underestimated of these symptoms, I thought I only had stomach upset and will recover tomorrow morning when I reached Banda Aceh. I hardly slept that night suffering with pains also fearing of felt a sleep and missed the flight likewise what happened to my technical advisor a week before (it made him stranded at least 6 hours at airport before flying to Banda Aceh). After all, I woke up in time, went to airport with taxi in the middle of heavy raining and made my flight to Banda Aceh. I was wrong when I thought the pains will be disappeared when I arrived in Banda Aceh. Once my flight took off from Cengkareng I started to feel all part of my bones cracked and felt so cold with terrible headache. I told one of my colleagues who flied with me to Banda Aceh that I was not feeling well at all and asked them to get my baggage on arrival hall. I also asked them to drop me at my hotel to take a rest first then planned to go to my office in Banda Aceh late in the afternoon (Again totally incorrect assumption!, I learnt later on : when you are sick you are sick there was no way to push and force yourself to work especially if you can’t even stand up properly).

Arriving at the hotel, I directly lied down and found myself felt seriously ill, for all those pains I experienced since the night before, I made conclusion that I was sick and needed to see doctor. I called my colleague to ask UN doctor to see me at my hotel and check me up. UN doctor came in the right time and took very efficient medical decision and injected me with fever relief and pain killer, called lab people to get my blood sample to validate his diagnosed : Typhoid Fever then prescribed medicines for me. I stayed in my hotel and still had no clue of significant illness I will experience later on from this disease. My second night was more terrible with severe diarrhea, frequent vomiting, intense pain all over my bone and discomfort on central part of stomach, it was just like in hell...well I’ve never been in there but I almost closed to it I guessed. Early in the morning, all those pains went on with more frequent vomiting and shivering, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I called UN doctor who again made very quick action to hospitalize me. I only nodded submissively when he said that I needed to be infused with food and medication through my blood system to overcome my illness and prevent advance dehydration caused by frequent diarrhea and vomiting. I was brought by UN ambulance to hospital and medically treated by UN doctor : dr. Ferry Yama Irawan, whom I owe a credit for saving my life. Thank you so much doctor and also God!. Well, I may sound exaggerating but I was true that his medical treatment and kind heart has helped me to recover gradually but positively whenever I had no one there to look after me with limited medical facilities.

My parents and siblings kept calling me to ensure if I am fine (I said yes to them but I lied especially to my mom who was so sad and desperate to hear this news, she called me twice a days just to check and talk to me) and asked if I wanted my mom to be flied to Banda Aceh. I did not want to make my dear family disturbed by my illness and insisted to handle this all by myself as usual (I was sick several times in Aceh whenever I lived there and so far I can handle it). I knew I was too weak to fly to Jakarta whenever UN doctor offered me two options : hospitalized or medical evacuation, then I chose the first one with all consequences (including the absence of my relatives or family members by my side). I should also thank to my colleagues in Banda Aceh Office for their visit especially my team who intensively visited me at hospital and handle my basic need and administration on my sick leave. I will never forget this experience and will take good care of myself, I promised and learnt so much from this all. I just felt that I have been through the hell and should do my best to prevent it repeated for the fifth time, yes this was fourth typhoid attack I experienced and I felt like a fool for repeating similar mistakes over and over showing my learning disability. Lately I take further medication and healing by consulting to an internist who recommended me to undertake typhoid vaccination, yes I can get typhoid vaccination (God! I wish I knew about this long time before!).

Another Chapter of My Life

I will be moving from Banda Aceh on third week of September 2008, thus I have to pack my stuffs to be sent to Jakarta and Pekanbaru . I curiously calculated my moving rate in the last 8 years since I graduated from my bachelor education. The first moving was on 2000, three months after bachelor graduation to small town namely Pangkalan Kerinci located 70 Km from my home in Pekanbaru to work on Pulp and Paper Industry. I have stayed in Pangkalan Kerinci for 3,5 years then move to Wageningen – Netherlands to carry on my master education in 2003 . I lived in Wageningen for more than 1,5 years until my master course completed on March 2005 and back to work on Pangkalan Kerinci for 6 months only. Then again, I moved to my hometown in Pekanbaru and lived with my parents for 10 months. Later on I got a job on an International Conservation NGO in Banda Aceh and moved on mid 2006. I stayed in Banda Aceh for 2,3 years and end up working with UN agency since 2007.

On all packing and unpacking sessions for 6 times moving in the last 8 years, I have seen them as chapters of my life. Initially, I felt moving is difficult and heartbreaking to leave all friends I get along and places I get used with. Lately I learnt to let things go and accept that life is about changes. The only things I can bring with me is its memories whether the good and bad ones. I have learnt that, life is about shaping and nurturing story of my own to be written on my life book. I also learnt that living in those each places has taught me many lessons and enriched my understanding about people and places including its unique cultures and traditions. It influenced my perspective and somehow coloring my way of seeing life.

Today, I again packed my 2,3 years living in Banda Aceh on boxes and bag to move to another destination : Jakarta. I am curious and excited about what kind of stories will be written on my life book, I will be starting another chapter of my life in another place.

Third Ramadhan in Banda Aceh

This year is my third ramadhan in Banda Aceh and possibly will be my last time here. I never imagined that I will stay this long (2,2 years) in Banda Aceh. Originally I planned to stay in for one year then extended it until two years (June 2008). I have prepared my departure from Banda Aceh and found another job just to move to Jakarta on July 2008. I got job offer from another UN subsidiary in Jakarta and almost confirm to start to work on 01 July 2008. Then, another option is coming : staying with my current organisation but waiting for 2 months (until the end of August 2008) to enable relocation to Jakarta, so my contract was extended until the end of August 2008. I supposed to move from Banda Aceh on early September 2008 but administration process of my relocation is not yet completed, here I am, extended one month stay in Banda Aceh and spend my third ramadhan in Serambi Mekkah City.

Today, I again felt the same way and experienced the same thing with years before. Aceh people have special tradition called Meugang. This occurs on one or two days before ramadhan whenever people spend time with their family and cook chicken or beef/lamb in traditional Acehnese cuisine (curry). The majority of shops will be closed including restaurants creating difficulty for people like me who bought daily meals from available restaurants in Banda Aceh. My first and second ramadhan were spent with relying on my land lord/house owner to provide me with Iftar (Dinner) and Sahur (Early Breakfast) meals. This ramadhan I will cook for myself and wonder how I can manage to cook in the afternoon and back home earlier from work. But I feel exciting for my shopping tomorrow though I got used with regular shopping to local market in Penayong to buy my weekly groceries/supplies. I can guess the market will be crowded and packed with people tomorrow and I will be one of them. I should be doing my groceries shopping tomorrow worrying that on Sunday people will not sell their products on the local market on Meugang Day.

I am happy that I can experience another ramadhan with Aceh tradition and will miss it one day. I should be also thankful and grateful that I still meet ramadhan this year, Alhamdulillah. I always like ramadhan and its blessing wherever I am I feel the same : fortunate and peaceful, no matter in my own country not to mention in Banda Aceh, with its strong Islamic entity and on my student life years in Europe some years ago. Ramadhan is always my favorite month of the year, welcome ramadhan……….marbahan ya ramadhan….Taqabalallahu Minna Wa Minkum Taqabbal yaa Kariim…….

Picture : Baitur Rahman Grand Mosque - Banda Aceh

The Wide and Borderless Sky

My work in Banda Aceh is going to end soon and during my 2,2 years living here I have learnt that this place is so quiet and peaceful then I started to fall in love with Banda Aceh. I still remember the first months of my arrival here, I feel lonely and mundane of the quiet-ness and nothing-ness of the ruined Banda Aceh. Later, on my prolong stay I discovered that Banda Aceh still hide its beauty despite the massive and historical earthquake and tsunami on December 2004 that severally destroyed Serambi Mekkah City.

One thing I like the most about Banda Aceh is its Wide Sky that I notice every time I touched down from my travels and back to Banda Aceh on Sultan Iskandar Muda Airport. On the way from airport, I always like to sit in the car while watching the sky and its horizon with rice paddy field below and Bukit Barisan view on its edges. The sky is so wide and borderless with beautiful clouds floating on it. Nothing destructs this scenery as it is hard to find high raise buildings in Banda Aceh that block the higher view.

Another favorite view is the Lamphuuk Beach, the quiet and peaceful beach among other beaches in Banda Aceh. My first visit to this beach was on 2006 that made me in love with this beach and its picturesque view, a combination of blue water and white sands with green higher land on the other side (see my picture above with my colleagues). I have been walked along this beach with a friend from Canada who told me that he feels like he is inside of the post card whenever he sees this beach. There was nothing there at that time, only sands and water and greenery view, so tranquil and mesmerizing, lately I found local community built small huts to enable people to sit and hide from the sun while enjoying the view. Once again I notice the Wide Sky in Lamphuuk beach and it always fascinating me as usual.

I hope Banda Aceh will gradually expose and regain its beauty while developing public infra-structures to become a normal and charming city. I am sure I will be visiting Banda Aceh frequently months ahead after my contract is ended and my relocation, however I will be missing its quiet-ness and peaceful-ness and for sure its Wide and Borderless Sky.